Umm Sir?
by stupidity101
Summary: Harry and Ginny... you get the picture
1. Welcome, Welcome, to Your Dungeon

Chapter 1  
  
This Is What Happens When  
  
It started out as a normal day. The sky was blue, the clouds were as  
  
white, and the birds were all flying around in circles about to collide  
  
over the school of Hogwarts and Billy! Who wrote this? I can't make out  
  
this sentence! It looks like. How to Get People to Read Between Lines for  
  
Total Domination! Just read the next one then. Yes, so, anyways, Harry's  
  
life was run by a tyrant from hell about to join forces with Ned the  
  
computer geek (and it's pretty bad when Ned comes in unless he's on your  
  
side but normally he goes over towards the evil side because pay's  
  
better). So like normal he was moping around using his time wisely while  
  
Hermione and Ron were off doing God knows what. At this point Harry was  
  
imagining Ron gallivanting off with Hermione into the sunset and starts  
  
sniggering so hard he falls off his big comfy couch (not really his, it's  
  
really more like the school's) and gains the stares from every one in the  
  
common room. Harry didn't care.  
  
"Harry?" said a VERY cunfuzzled voice.  
  
Harry sat up and wiped the tears from his eyes. "Yes?" he replied.  
  
"Harry, do you have some unknown stash somewhere that you would like to  
  
tell me about?" Asked a very amused Ginny.  
  
Harry was confused for a moment, and then suddenly understood. "Was I  
  
really that cracked?"  
  
"Just a bit." said Ginny with a smile helping Harry get up. By now every  
  
one else had turned back to his or her books snickering behind their  
  
hands. Ginny was walking away when Harry grabbed her wrist and swung her  
  
around.  
  
"Hey Gin, do you want to go for a walk?"  
  
Ginny was quite uncomfortable. Harry (the love of her life though she  
  
hasn't admitted it in quite some time) was holding her extremely close.  
  
"Sure Harry why not?" 


	2. And here we are

Chapter 2  
  
Never Say "Why Not?"  
  
"Why not", what had possessed her to say it? With those key words she  
  
still went on the walk. No, hang on; it was Harry's fault she was on this  
  
path towards the lake. Yes, Harry's fault not Ginny's. Harry Bad, Ginny  
  
Good. But she was still on this walk. Why? Damnit Harry, it's all your  
  
fault! Ginny complied with her brain.  
  
Little did she know that Harry was having the exact same problem about his  
  
own words. Then again it wouldn't be the exactly the same it would be  
  
similar. But that's beside the point. The point is that Harry had no idea  
  
who could have possessed him to ask Ginny on a walk. Sure she's pretty and  
  
every thing He thought, distinctly leaving out the fact that she had boobs  
  
and they were destined to be big, but it's not like he was into genetics  
  
or anything. No, defiantly not, nope, no way Jose. But he wasn't the  
  
stereotypical type of guy because there was no way he could fit in  
  
stereotypical guy mode between being a hero mode and being a friend mode.  
  
It just didn't fit in (and besides when he could that was time for being a  
  
jackass mode).  
  
"Harry could you keep it down? I can barely hear myself think." Ginny said  
  
sarcastically.  
  
"What?" Harry asked.  
  
"Never mind"  
  
"No really what did you say."  
  
"Nothing"  
  
"I'm pretty sure it was something," Harry said silently concluding that  
  
this conversation (and a weird one at that) was better than no  
  
conversation at all.  
  
"Really?!" Ginny said, turning around so that she could look Harry  
  
straight in the face. Harry, noticing she had stopped, turned around at  
  
looked straight at Ginny. Harry was just about to retort when Hermione and  
  
Ron showed up. Harry was glad about their sudden appearance but Ginny  
  
looked pissed.  
  
"Hey guys" Ron said uncertainly, noticing Ginny's look. He knew that look  
  
to well. It was a look that scared children more so than a pimply Summoner  
  
from centuries ago. You never wanted to be on the other side of that look,  
  
for you will be broken into a million pieces, then those pieces will be  
  
burned, and your ashes will be scattered towards the north, south, east  
  
and west.  
  
"Hey Ron and his girlfriend" Ginny drawled as Hermione blushed and looked  
  
down at her feet and Ron stood up straight.  
  
"My, my, someone's pissy." Hermione mumbled. Everyone stared in shock.  
  
Everyone but Ron that is, he was proud for he had corrupted Hermione many  
  
a year ago.  
  
"Okay. Hey guys how 'bout we go on a walk together?" Harry suggested.  
  
"Why not" Ron said as Ginny crumpled to the ground holding her head. And  
  
off the trio walked leaving Ginny alone to slowly go insane. 


	3. as you were saying

Chapter 3  
  
Two Dorks In a Tree  
  
After that walk seconds turned into minutes, minutes turned into hours,  
  
hours turned into days, and days turned into more days, and then all those  
  
days ended up becoming a week. Yep it was a whole week. Wow. And Hermione  
  
and Ron were in the common room doing Ron's homework.  
  
"Ron" Hermione said.  
  
"Yea?' Ron said looking up.  
  
"Do ya wanna do something else?"  
  
"That depends" Ron said as Hermione leaned over and whispered into his  
  
ear. "I'm in" Ron said as soon as Hermione delivered her message. And they  
  
ran off.  
  
Harry saw the whole thing and couldn't help but say ew. It was just, ew.  
  
"I feel the same way." Harry turned around and saw Ginny standing there  
  
once again, catching him in an awkward moment, again.  
  
"Hey Gin. Yea it is pretty disgusting isn't it?"  
  
"Well isn't that an understatement."  
  
"True dat"  
  
"What?" Ginny said confused, shocked, and very scared for her life.  
  
"Sorry, really weird book I read. Dudley hadn't started it. It was his  
  
summer reading and I had nothing else to read. Honestly what kids are  
  
reading today! But anyway it was about some Americans and let me tell you,  
  
sometimes their language seems like it's from another planet."   
  
"Really! What are some other sayings?" Ginny asked wanting to know a  
  
foreign language and in the process sitting down next to Harry  
  
"Um.well there was 'Girrrl', 'oh no you didn't', 'fo reaw', and my  
  
favorite 'it's off the hizzle fo shizzle'"  
  
"Ha! That's cute. What does it mean?"  
  
"Well it kind of sounds like off the hook, for sure"  
  
"Well, that's off the hizzle fo shizzle" Ginny said pointing to Harry's  
  
mismatched socks.  
  
"Girrrl" Harry said.  
  
"Oh no you didn't"  
  
"Dude"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Sorry, wrong language" Harry apologized.  
  
"True dat"  
  
"True dat"  
  
"Harry" Ginny said  
  
"Yea?"  
  
"You're such a dork"  
  
"Thanks." Harry said sarcasm oozing off in huge clumps.  
  
"But I'll keep you." Ginny said as she patted Harry's knee and went up to  
  
her dorms. 


	4. Barbie, the ultimate corrupter

Chapter 4  
  
Pink Torture Meets Duel  
  
It was torture, pure evil mercilessly torture. Who knew one of the  
  
prettiest girls in school could be so God Damn BORING?! Harry could have  
  
sworn that Lavender came from the land of stupid and was valedictorian of  
  
The Finishing School of Stupid. All she knew was how to paint her toenails  
  
pink. And pink has to be the worst color in the world next to brown (A/N:  
  
brown hehe get it? What I thought it was funny). Then his savior arrived.  
  
Ginny had finally gotten up on this Sunday morning. Then again Harry was  
  
sitting at lunch. Oh well at least he has a savior (even though she is a  
  
bit late).  
  
"Hey Harry, Hey Lavender" Ginny said.  
  
"Hey Gin" Harry said very thankfully.  
  
"Um. Harry, can I talk to you. You know. alone?" Ginny asked  
  
understanding Harry's tone. Lavender, being stupid, took it the wrong way.  
  
"Ooo, Harry and Ginny sittin' in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love,  
  
then."  
  
"LAVENDER, SHUT UP!" Harry yelled, grabbing the attention of the people  
  
around them. He grabbed Ginny's hand and led her outside of the Great  
  
Hall.  
  
"So-er- what did you want" Harry said realizing he had not yet let go of  
  
Ginny's hand Harry dropped it immediately and started to blush. Ginny  
  
didn't notice, fortunately for him.  
  
"Well, nothing really, it was just an excuse to get you out of the hands  
  
of evil in pink." Ginny said laughing at her own joke. Oddly enough Harry  
  
found it funny as well and they both fell to the ground in laughter.  
  
Moments later they regained their composure and stared and started to  
  
laugh once more. It was less than a half an hour later when they finally  
  
stopped laughing. Silence surrounded them once again. Harry felt it needed  
  
to be broken, so he shattered it.  
  
"So Ginny, what do you wanna do now?"  
  
" I don't know. Good question." Ginny said walking up the steps towards  
  
the common room  
  
"Great suggestion." Harry retorted sarcastically following Ginny.  
  
"Ooo, you're good Mr. Potter."  
  
"What are you saying Miss Weasley?"  
  
"That you could never beat me."  
  
"Is that so."  
  
"Yes, sir"  
  
"What is it that you are so much greater than I, O' Ginnyness."  
  
"Anything and everything my good sir."  
  
"Really." Harry said reaching the Fat Lady's Portrait. Saying the  
  
password he held the door open for Ginny and kindly waited to climb in  
  
after Ginny had graciously entered.  
  
"O my kind sir, thou art chivalrous."  
  
"Nothing is to good, for thou art a lady and I am but a boy."  
  
"Yes, my sources are correct. Thou art good at comebacks"  
  
"Really?"   
  
"Yes. You are good, better than my brothers, excluding Fred and George  
  
'cuz they are the best, but all the others, especially Ron." Ginny said  
  
with a roll of her eyes  
  
"Ron is a bit clueless isn't he?"  
  
"No shit, Sherlock."  
  
"Well what shall we do now?" Harry said. He glanced at Ginny, a very  
  
pensive Ginny. It was starting to scare him.  
  
"I've got it!" Ginny exclaimed after a short moment. "I Ginny Weasley  
  
challenge you Harry Potter to a duel of wit. Do you accept?"  
  
"I do. What are our guidelines?"  
  
"That I will tell you at dinner. Until our third consuming of sustenance  
  
today." 


	5. Dinner

Chapter 5   
  
At the Third Consumption  
  
  
  
Ginny spent all the rest of her lovely, sunny,  
  
lets-go-off-and-play-and-frolic-through-the-flowers Sunday indoors. But  
  
who could blame her? After all she was coming up with a way to kick that  
  
good-for-everything-up-high-savior-of-virgins-etc Harry Potter. That boy  
  
will go down. Ginny thought silently cackling in the corner of the  
  
library.  
  
"Harry, mate, you have no idea what you've gotten yourself into do you?"  
  
Ron said after Harry told them of the bet a couple of hours before dinner.  
  
"No. I don't know man, it's just, well, she's so. persuasive!" Harry said  
  
as Hermione smiled. Hermione knew but she did not express her views. That  
  
would come after some persuading of her own on Ron. Ron, clueless once  
  
again, didn't know and went on.  
  
"You're gonna lose mate"  
  
"Not necessarily. I mean just because you're an idiot doesn't mean I am."  
  
"Did you just call me dumb?"  
  
"No. He just called you an obtuse, imperceptive, thickheaded  
  
Neanderthal." Hermione said knowing Ron didn't understand. But she loved  
  
him nonetheless. Ron stared at her with a blank face. Harry leaned over  
  
and whispered to Hermione:  
  
"Big words, small mind, no comprehension goin' on in there" Hermione  
  
started to giggle and they stayed in the common room until dinner.  
  
Ginny waited in the Great Hall for the trio. When they finally arrived  
  
she ran strait towards Harry.  
  
"Hey Ginny. You got it?" Harry said.  
  
"Yea. Let's sit down." At this they headed towards the table and sat  
  
down. "Alright, here are the guide lines: debate will be after classes, in  
  
the evening in the common room, and on the weekends. This will go on for  
  
two weeks. We take turns introducing the topic of discussion. Hermione and  
  
Ron will judge the arguments and who ever has the most votes on best  
  
argument will win. Ok?"  
  
It took Harry a while to comprehend all this for Ginny was talking at the  
  
speed of light. "Alright I understand. When do we start?"  
  
"Tomorrow after our first class."  
  
"In the hallways?" Harry asked knowing the answer.  
  
"No, in various broom closets" Ok so he didn't know.   
  
"Really?"  
  
"No, in the hallway"   
  
"Wait."  
  
"Just go with it Harry."  
  
"Alright after class it is." Harry said taking his first bite of his  
  
third consumption of sustenance. 


	6. Bottle Cap Stuck?

Chapter 6  
  
Topic of Discussion  
  
It was the last class of the day and Harry was silently waiting for it to  
  
be over. As usual Professor Binns was dragging out class, Ron was paying  
  
more attention to Hermione than the Professor, and Hermione was. doodling  
  
Hermione Weasley all over her notebook? Well, everything besides that was  
  
normal (unless this was the first time Harry caught her). But Harry was  
  
coming up with topics to discus after all it was his turn tomorrow. At  
  
last it was time to pack up and leave. Harry stuffed all of his things in  
  
sight into his bag and ran out of the classroom.   
  
He was running so fast he almost bumped into Ginny. Regaining his  
  
composure, he started the conversation.  
  
"Hey Ginny! What's new?"  
  
"Nothing. What are Hermione and Ron doing we need them to start." Ginny  
  
said, looking around the hallway.  
  
"I dunno. It's your turn to start anyway. Got anything."  
  
"Hell yea. I've got two full parchments of topics. What about you? After  
  
all it's your turn to start tomorrow." Ginny said and at the last sentence  
  
finally faced Harry.  
  
"Yea, I know. Honestly what have I gotten myself into?"  
  
"You could have said no."  
  
"I know but." Harry started to say but was cut off when Hermione and Ron  
  
entered the hallway.  
  
"Here we are. What do we do again?" Hermione said latching herself to  
  
Ron.  
  
"You guys just stand there listening to our conversation and decide who  
  
had the best argument." Ginny said with a hint of irritation in her voice.  
  
"Ok. Argue then." Ron said mimicking Ginny.  
  
"Fine" Ginny replied sticking out her tongue. She turned to Harry and  
  
said, "Here goes nothing. Alright Harry do you suppose Snape's shampoo  
  
bottle cap is stuck?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Cuz his hair sure is greasy!"  
  
"It's not greasy it's just." Harry paused for a moment "oily."  
  
"That's the same thing."   
  
"Well what we are saying is common sense really. It's not fair. Who made  
  
these rules up anyway?"  
  
"I did Harry." Ginny said "and it is totally fair. After all I can change  
  
the rules at my own expense."   
  
"Whatever."  
  
"Just get on with it."  
  
"Fine. Alright how do we know Snape just doesn't bathe, therefore if he  
  
doesn't bathe he doesn't need shampoo right."  
  
"Right, but how come he comes into class some mornings smelling like  
  
zest?"  
  
"He does."  
  
"Yes Harry, he does." Ginny stopped for they were at the Fat Lady  
  
portrait. The discussion was over. It was unanimous, Ginny had won this  
  
one. 


	7. Akward

Chapter 7  
  
Welcome to Awkward Moments  
  
Harry had it. He was going to beat Ginny once and for all. So far they  
  
had been arguing for one week, two days, nine hours, 37 minutes, and a lot  
  
of seconds and still Harry had not yet won one argument even on his  
  
topics. He had the best one so far and it would be only five more minutes  
  
until his plan could come into action. If you don't know the plan so far  
  
it's:  
  
1. Argue argument  
  
2. Win argument  
  
3. Beat Ginny  
  
4. Make Ginny cry  
  
5. Cheer Ginny up because of winning  
  
6. Snog Ginny senseless in some nearby place not in public view  
  
That sounded right. Yes. Wait. cross out number four. Yes that sounds  
  
better. He had it. And of course Snape wasn't gonna let them out early for  
  
good behavior. So he was stuck. At least he had another task to figure  
  
out. How to get Hermione and Ron to keep their hands off each other, bribe  
  
them, and get them to pay attention. He called it multi-tasking and it was  
  
probably going to fail miserably. At least he was gonna tried right? Harry  
  
glanced down at his watch. It was almost time to go. 5.4.3.2.1. only three  
  
more minutes to go. At last it was time do go. Harry stuffed all his  
  
things into his bag and ran out of that room. Luckily it was the last  
  
class of the day and Harry wouldn't have to fail his multi-tasking attempt  
  
in front of everybody.  
  
At the other end of the hall he spotted the unmistakable Weasley hair.  
  
Harry ran to catch up to Ginny, the prettiest of them all.  
  
"Hey Ginny" Harry said breathlessly. Ginny turned around and Harry became  
  
permanently without breath.  
  
"Uh hey Harry! Where are Ron and Hermione?"  
  
"Probably still back in class.you know.doing stuff."  
  
"Oh.Right. So what should we do until they come back?"  
  
Oh I can think of some things. Yummy. Harry thought and wasn't hindered  
  
until Ron and Hermione came back (which thankfully wasn't long due to  
  
Harry was bound to take up one of his own offers.)  
  
"Harry. Harry" Ron said snapping his fingers in Harry's face.  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's um time to start"  
  
"Oh"  
  
"Yea, Harry it's your turn to start anyway." said Ginny  
  
"Ok." Harry started effectively "If a woodchuck could chuck wood, could a  
  
woodchuck chuck wood as much as a woodchuck could chuck wood?"  
  
"Yea I guess so" Ginny said confused, as most would be.  
  
"That is an inadequate answer Ginny" Harry started "Do it correctly this  
  
time."  
  
"Yes sir" Ginny said with the sudden urge to salute.  
  
"That answer once again is wrong. Answer it correctly"  
  
"No O your Harryness. You are correct and I am wrong. Please have mercy on  
  
my unworthy soul."  
  
"Thank you. And I think that wraps it up." Harry said.  
  
"Yea, Yea." Ginny said disappointed. Then her frown turned upside down  
  
"But Hermione and Ron." she trailed off and that frown turned right side  
  
up once again.  
  
Harry turned and caught the sight. "Well they won't be making any  
  
decisions anytime soon. What do you want to do?"  
  
"I dunno. Um you wanna go for a walk?"  
  
"Sure." Harry accepted and started to head towards the school doors. Harry  
  
couldn't help but feel something was wrong and so he turned around and saw  
  
that Ginny hadn't moved.  
  
"Uh Harry this way" Ginny said pointing in the other direction.  
  
"Oh right" 


	8. Drunk? You bet I'm Drunk

Chapter 8  
  
Umm Sir  
  
"Gin, where are we going?"  
  
"You'll see," said Ginny in a flirtatious voice. Harry was torn apart by  
  
emotions. On the one hand he was happy that there seemed to be some  
  
interest and on the other he was scared shit. At last they came to a stop.  
  
"Gin, are you sure we're in the right place?"  
  
"Yea, I lead you here didn't I?" Ginny said opening the door. "Come on  
  
Potter get in here." Now Harry was intrigued not only had he dreamed about  
  
this, they were actually going into a broom closet. Harry had many choices  
  
on what to do. So he chose (after some long grueling seconds) the most  
  
intelligent route: Play dumb.  
  
"Ginny what do you need to go in here for."  
  
"I need to get something but I'm too short. Could you come in here and get  
  
it for me?"  
  
"Sure Gin-" Harry heard the door slam shut. "Where is it?" Harry asked  
  
choking on his words.  
  
Harry didn't have anytime to say anything else. Ginny had slammed her lips  
  
to his. And with the impact Harry had fallen down taking Ginny with him.  
  
They kissed a lot, a lot, a lot. And then they saw the light. Snape had  
  
come to see what the noise was and was surprised to see Potter and Weasley  
  
Jr. to the 7th power.  
  
Harry looked up with out a blush rising to his face. "Umm Sir?"  
  
"What Potter?"  
  
"Could you shut the door?" Harry and Ginny said simultaneously.  
  
Too stunned and extreamly confused (and maybe a bit drunk, ok very drunk)  
  
to say anything else Snape shut the door and Harry and Ginny resumed to  
  
what they were doing. 


	9. Dudes

Hey guys! Thanks to all who reviewed. Sorry there's no more to this story. But you can read my other ones. I like them better. Anyway, You guys are awesome. I would love to hear more from you. Smooches. 


End file.
